Now that I am done with my undergraduate studies, why do I feel so vexed?
All this worrying is not doing any good to my health at all and yet, I cannot seem to get rid of them.
Why do I feel this way? Is it the uncertainty?
Relax, relax and relax. chill and stop being a worrywort!
I need to just open up and enjoy myself, have fun without restrains.

Things have been happening non-stop since the last paper. Maybe I need some time to myself again.
and less than 2 weeks to fly...

Seriously, I admire people who can apply for the program year after year. The SOP writing, getting the 2 reference letters, preparing for interview and the hardest ordeal of all, the indefinite wait.

I mean I wouldn't mind waiting if everybody in the world receives the results at about the same period. That way, I can focus on other things first and then be surprised when the email comes.

Now that almost every country has been notified last week, people in Singapore and two other places cannot wait to know theirs too. I cannot stand myself putting all my work aside and checking email and the forum every 10 minutes. And my heart beats like crazy everytime I see new emails but takes another 10 mintues to recover after I realised it's irrelevant. 

It doesn't help that I actually have 3 research papers to write and 3 exams to sit within the next 14 days. And I am only 1/3 into my first paper. oh gosh. After I am notified, I would need a full day to rejoice or cry and get it over. Now, I seriously think I may faill some of my modules. 

It's 1630 now and the day has officially ended at the office.
Tomorrow, the wait shall continue. Gosh, I really need some miracle to pull through! 

I'm into the second week of April. The coming 2 weeks hopefully, shall be full of excitement, hopes and decision-making.

oh yeah, come rolling on, my final semester of undergraduate studies!

It has been a hectic and stressful two weeks especially with deciding on my timetable.

And so HMJ6 was offered this semester and I just had to take it no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. 
Language courses are just so much better taken in school than anywhere else. 

So, when the clock struck 10 just now, I have 6 courses on my timetable.
With that, my final semester has begun.

Japanese, Korean and cyber security, here I come! I must get a S for cyber security! :x
and not to forget my 3 other linguistics modules. :x:x
and finding a job. :x:x:x
and graduation trip if any. :x:x:x:x

i felt sick after running one round around my neighbourhood. jaws were aching and limbs were like jelly.
it definitely did not feel good.

but so refreshed after a good bath. guess that's the benefit of exercising. 

what am i writing! but one more task off the list. hopefully i can go running as many times as possible before school starts! 

I've been wanting to write since I came back from San Francisco but well, procrastination prevails. Same goes with exercising.

To sum it all up, 2011 was spent in envy. In envy of people who have graduated, people who have just started their exchange, people who took on a second exchange, people who are working abroad, people who are in Japan.

of course, there were significant breakthroughs for me as well. The first was interning at JCC which allowed me to understand the Japanese working environment. The second was returning to Japan in August, this time to Tohoku with great company and met new friends. I do hope we would continue to chill out once in a while.

as 2011 comes to an end, the first half of 2012 shall mark my last semester of undergraduate studies and life-changing decisions. 4 years ago, when people ask what I can do with a linguistics degree, I often said I feel like finding a job is a lot of luck and opportunities and I would rather study a field that interests me and is enriching rather than study for that intended career with good prospects. 4 years later, I declare that job-searching has begun. I know it is going to be ardous with questions like how do you think linguistics is relevant to the job you have applied for being thrown at me frequently during interviews. I don't know why but I may look good on paper and qualifications, but I suck at interviews and the interviewers' expectations take a big dip. Oh well, I just have to work on acing interviews.

my goal is to have received job offers before my convocation. does it sound practical? I hope so.

and really, I should stop reading livejournals of people who are living in japan for whatever reasons now. it just made me daydream of spending a few years there. it's going to be difficult to earn a living there with my limited Japanese and skills. I could just take the easy way out by spending money there, but I guess I do want to start working.

so with a tinge of uneasiness and lots of envy for others, I will be welcoming 2012. May 2012 entail many great endeavours and exciting opportunities abroad. :D:D

Happy New Year!



before I started typing this entry, I logged into facebook and right there, at the top is a friend talking about options for graduate studies in linguistics. made me think for a while. really do I want to go into grad school straight? last option perhaps? nevertheless, I quickly jotted down the grad schools his friends offered.

お腹が空いた！おいしいお好み焼き食べたい！
I am hungry. So I decided to blog instead of doing my work.
It's week 11 of school now and stress from fyp and the only linguistics module I am taking this semester has set in since last week. gggaah! I hope I can make it till 14November and then puuff.. I will be freeeeeee!
But from now till then, I will be juggling two assignments and fyp is worrying me. I need more motivation to work on it!
Staring at the computer screen for more than 10 hours for at least 4 days a week is slowly driving me crazy and yet I am making so little progress. how! Must be all the videos I am watching. On some days I spent more hours watching videos then doing work. But Johnny's keep me going during this period!! hahaha especially now that I have found another group to look out for!
関ジャ二８！　だから、頑張る！

It's going to be an exciting and busy Oct, Nov and Dec! :D:D

On a side note, there has been no returned mails so far so that means I hope I will receive the email for good news! :)

I went sort of like clubbing for the second time.
'sort of like' because it really wasn't a real club like zouk but sort of like a combination between pub, bar and club.
There was not alot of people doing hardcore dancing at the dance floor. hahah.
I let my hair down and though the music was really loud, I got to reveal abit of the wild side in me through dancing.

Before that, we went for dinner at the ambassador's residence. Such good food and drinks that I ate like a pig. 
Even though my group made small talk with the ambassador and his wife, I did not mention a word about the internship! Kind of regretted it. Instead, I talked about the residence's marble flooring. -_-" Somehow, I need to improve my social and networking skills. Well, at least I talked to Ebine-san. 

It was a really enjoyable time with my YAT friends :D:D:D
Hopefully, we will hang out a few more time together! Backpack in Japan or anywhere else! And everyone has to go together if not it does not feel the same as during the YAT trip.

As for life, I have started working on plans after graduation. I have 3 plans now. Actually, they are like 'if I don't get this, I will go for this' plans according to my desires. Hopefully, plan A succeeds so I do not have to go to plans B and C :D:D
After all, what is a happy life?

if you have an exciting and rich social life, it is okay to have a boring job.
But if you have a boring social life, you need an exiciting career because it takes centerstage.
There should be a balance in life and I guess I belong to the latter.


Into my last year of undergraduate studies and I am feeling the pressure of working. at least decide on how I want to live my life after graduation.